Today was a big running day. From about 11:30-5:30 today, I was solidly active, whether it was running or briskly walking. I was one of two people in charge of laying trail for my running group. I'm a part of a social running group composed of graduate students and soldiers from the nearby post. We do a run every weekend, anywhere from 2-12 miles, and it's always a new route. The two leaders set marks along the way by dropping handfuls of flour behind them, so the entire run is like a big scavenger hunt. It's not uncommon for 4 miles to take us 1.5 hours with lots of dead ends, getting lost, and enjoying the activities along the way. Today I was a leader with another group member, and I had worked out my upper body really hard the day before. So from lifting weights and running, my body is completely zonked. I'll likely spend most of Sunday resting (of course while studying everything that I've neglected in the last two days).
I came across this post in my dashboard while reading blogs: http://gagglemaggot.blogspot.com/2011/01/what-not-to-say-to-military-wife.html Too funny! I love a good dose of sarcasm :) I have a lot of sarcasm in my sense of humor, and sometimes I wish I could let it shine through a bit more. But it always seems to come off as cynical or negative, so I do my best to just be happy around people. I certainly don't want to be one of those people that others avoid because they're not fun to be around. I don't try to lie to those around me, but I don't want to be constantly whining about "poor me" or "I miss my boyfriend, blah blah blah".
Ok, I am entirely too overtired and I'm afraid this post is going to turn to emo, so I shall call it a night. Hopefully I'll hear from DB tomorrow!! (I missed a call from him today while I was out running :(
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Hundreds gather to honor fallen soldier
Today my heart goes out to the family of SPC Torre, who died last week in Iraq. His body arrived stateside in California yesterday, and the OC Register wrote a very nice article documenting the event. I've read about soldiers dying overseas, but I have never had close connections to them like I do to Torre. His was the first death in DB's brigade since they've deployed. It comes as a shock because things are calming down over there, but it is still very much a war zone. DB is always working inside the wire, so I sleep ok at night, but I feel for the families of the men that stick out their necks every day on patrols. Death is a reality of war, but none that anyone would wish to go through. I hope the men in his unit are coping as best they can during this hard time.
May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.
All gave some, some gave all. Thank you for your service SPC Torre.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Merp rocks my socks off
If anyone is looking for a TERRIFICALLY WONDERFUL TIME (<- note how wonderful, wonderful enough for all-caps) please visit my friend Christine at http://cjuen.blogspot.com/2011/01/choose-your-own-adventure-story.html She is a masterful story teller and award-winning MSPaint artist.
Happy tears
I am not a fan of Sundays, mainly because it means that the weekend is over and a new week of activities is coming up (which is often composed of schoolwork). But there are two things I particularly love about Sundays: going to church to spend an hour with God and reading the updated PostSecret blog. It updates every week late Saturday night, and I just love reading the new secrets. Many are sad, but some are funny, and most all are inspirational. It really makes me reflect on my own secrets and how I would send them in. Well this week they had a video posted in addition to the regular secrets. There was a guy at one of the PostSecret events who proposed to his girlfriend on stage. I watched the video in YouTube and of course started clicking on the related links. Soon I was watching other proposal videos, then military proposal videos, then military homecoming proposals and then just normal military homecoming videos.
I had plans to get a lot of studying done tonight, but no, like a crack addict looking for a fix I kept clicking on video after video to see more happy families reuniting with their military loved ones. I literally sat at my computer watching military proposals/homecoming videos for two straight hours with big tears rolling down my cheeks. Happy tears, but tears nonetheless. I started to get ahold of myself, but then I clicked on a video of a military person reuniting with their dog after a deployment and then that just opened up a whole new can of worms - more adorable videos and more crying. What is wrong with me, why do I put myself through this torture?
I was lucky enough to hear from DB this afternoon; we got to talk for 45min via Skype and it was so awesome to hear from him. I have actually been quite proud of myself, because for the past week I have not been continually reminded about how much I miss him. Most of it relates to school starting up in full swing so I really haven't had a moment to breathe and reflect, but some small part of me hopes that I am finally starting to adjust better to him being gone. After all, come next week he will have been gone for 3 months. That should be enough time to adjust, shouldn't it? I don't expect to ever be completely ok that he's deployed, but I would assume that an adjusted feeling would eventually come around. I know that I've been slowly emotionally shutting down, but I don't want to completely shut down. I want to feel ok.
I've also recently come to the realization that I don't remember what DB smells like, the way his hair and clothes smell. I don't remember what it feels like to cuddle next to him, which breaks my heart a little bit. He always comes out of the shower smelling like Irish Spring, and if it starts to bother me enough I may just buy some Irish Spring at Walmart. I found out today that his old roommate (who is PCSing at the end of April) has the key to DB's storage unit so that he can return DB's vacuum before he leaves. Before he leaves, the roommate will leave the key for me to keep for DB. I was really surprised because I thought that DB brought the key with him overseas, but we didn't really talk about it - I just knew that his things would be safe while he was away. So I was thinking tonight about how once I get the key, I may go by his storage place and pull out some of his clothes, something to remind me of him. I have one of his sweatshirts, but it has been washed many times by now and doesn't smell like him. Then maybe I shouldn't go to the storage unit because it'll just remind him of me more and then I'll miss him more. I'm pretty torn, but I have until Aprilish to decide if I'll do anything.
I am an emotional wreck now after watching those videos; that was a really stupid idea to watch them in the first place, but it certainly made me happy before I remembered that I still have 5 months before I get to see my boyfriend on R&R. By that time it will have been 8 months since I last got to hug him, and that's just R&R, not the end of the deployment, and who knows when that will be...
My apologies that this post ended up being more rambling than I had planned on. But then again, that's why I started this blog - to "blog it all out". I am now going to go pretend to care about Radiology for another two hours or so before I call it a night.
 |
| One of my favorite scenes from a homecoming video |
I had plans to get a lot of studying done tonight, but no, like a crack addict looking for a fix I kept clicking on video after video to see more happy families reuniting with their military loved ones. I literally sat at my computer watching military proposals/homecoming videos for two straight hours with big tears rolling down my cheeks. Happy tears, but tears nonetheless. I started to get ahold of myself, but then I clicked on a video of a military person reuniting with their dog after a deployment and then that just opened up a whole new can of worms - more adorable videos and more crying. What is wrong with me, why do I put myself through this torture?
I was lucky enough to hear from DB this afternoon; we got to talk for 45min via Skype and it was so awesome to hear from him. I have actually been quite proud of myself, because for the past week I have not been continually reminded about how much I miss him. Most of it relates to school starting up in full swing so I really haven't had a moment to breathe and reflect, but some small part of me hopes that I am finally starting to adjust better to him being gone. After all, come next week he will have been gone for 3 months. That should be enough time to adjust, shouldn't it? I don't expect to ever be completely ok that he's deployed, but I would assume that an adjusted feeling would eventually come around. I know that I've been slowly emotionally shutting down, but I don't want to completely shut down. I want to feel ok.
I've also recently come to the realization that I don't remember what DB smells like, the way his hair and clothes smell. I don't remember what it feels like to cuddle next to him, which breaks my heart a little bit. He always comes out of the shower smelling like Irish Spring, and if it starts to bother me enough I may just buy some Irish Spring at Walmart. I found out today that his old roommate (who is PCSing at the end of April) has the key to DB's storage unit so that he can return DB's vacuum before he leaves. Before he leaves, the roommate will leave the key for me to keep for DB. I was really surprised because I thought that DB brought the key with him overseas, but we didn't really talk about it - I just knew that his things would be safe while he was away. So I was thinking tonight about how once I get the key, I may go by his storage place and pull out some of his clothes, something to remind me of him. I have one of his sweatshirts, but it has been washed many times by now and doesn't smell like him. Then maybe I shouldn't go to the storage unit because it'll just remind him of me more and then I'll miss him more. I'm pretty torn, but I have until Aprilish to decide if I'll do anything.
I am an emotional wreck now after watching those videos; that was a really stupid idea to watch them in the first place, but it certainly made me happy before I remembered that I still have 5 months before I get to see my boyfriend on R&R. By that time it will have been 8 months since I last got to hug him, and that's just R&R, not the end of the deployment, and who knows when that will be...
My apologies that this post ended up being more rambling than I had planned on. But then again, that's why I started this blog - to "blog it all out". I am now going to go pretend to care about Radiology for another two hours or so before I call it a night.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Back To Reality
Christmas vacation from classes has been a blast, but tomorrow morning it ends. Oddly enough, up until yesterday I was super-excited to dive into the semester. Now I'm having the beginning-of-the-semester doubts about being able to conquer everything that's laid out in front of me for the next few months. I have my fingers crossed that this feeling will pass and it will be a regular school day tomorrow.
This weekend had a moment of grim reality - one of the soldiers in my boyfriend's battalion was killed by a roadside IED. An official message was sent through the FRG listserv and a memorial service is scheduled on post in a few weeks. I would really like to go to pay my respects to the soldier, but the service is on a weekday morning so I'd have to skip class and drive 30min to post. I may still do it, we'll see. I spoke with DB briefly on Sunday; he sounded very grim and didn't want to talk about what was going on around him. I think it was a combination of him trying to deal with the sadness and also not scare me too much. I just hope that the battalion's morale continues on strong after this blow. I'll definitely be saying extra prayers for the fallen soldier's family.
In unrelated news, a group of my running friends have pressured me into running a 10 mile race in 3 weeks. I consider myself a mediocre runner. I can do three miles ok, and 5 miles is a bit tough. But 10 miles? I am absolutely terrified, yet I am still going to do it. The competitor in me doesn't want to walk at all during the race, but I'm afraid that may just be how it goes. I will be quite pleased if I can finish the race and not throw up. Luckily my running friends are great motivators, esp Mary who is really good about encouraging to overcome what I 'think' I can do and just do it. The story on my running group is a fun, but long one - I think I'll save that for another post.
And I'm off to get some beauty sleep before the first day of school!
This weekend had a moment of grim reality - one of the soldiers in my boyfriend's battalion was killed by a roadside IED. An official message was sent through the FRG listserv and a memorial service is scheduled on post in a few weeks. I would really like to go to pay my respects to the soldier, but the service is on a weekday morning so I'd have to skip class and drive 30min to post. I may still do it, we'll see. I spoke with DB briefly on Sunday; he sounded very grim and didn't want to talk about what was going on around him. I think it was a combination of him trying to deal with the sadness and also not scare me too much. I just hope that the battalion's morale continues on strong after this blow. I'll definitely be saying extra prayers for the fallen soldier's family.
In unrelated news, a group of my running friends have pressured me into running a 10 mile race in 3 weeks. I consider myself a mediocre runner. I can do three miles ok, and 5 miles is a bit tough. But 10 miles? I am absolutely terrified, yet I am still going to do it. The competitor in me doesn't want to walk at all during the race, but I'm afraid that may just be how it goes. I will be quite pleased if I can finish the race and not throw up. Luckily my running friends are great motivators, esp Mary who is really good about encouraging to overcome what I 'think' I can do and just do it. The story on my running group is a fun, but long one - I think I'll save that for another post.
And I'm off to get some beauty sleep before the first day of school!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
The many faces of DB
I'm having Christmas all over again! I've heard from DB three days in a row, 3 count them 3!! This is absolutely unheard of because he is usually very unavailable to talk online, but thankfully things have just worked out well the past few days. I also came home after visiting my parents, and after getting everything settled I checked the mail. Lo and behold, there were 2 envelopes in the mail with cards from DB! I am loving hearing from him so much!
So since we have actually had time to talk, he's been telling me about his new "fun hobby". He's been talking to one of the guys in his shop who is a former day trader and he's spent a lot of his extra time learning about the stock market. It sounds to be a lot like betting at cards, but there's a better chance that you can actually make money if you know what you're doing. Now one of my nicknames for DB is Mr. Moneybags ;)
Also, DB is head of his shop and he tells me all about how he "rules with an iron fist" and that he may have people that yell at him, but at the end of his day he's "king of his castle". I disagreed and felt like he was probably more of a "captain of his pirate ship", but it was fun to joke about it. In celebration I drew him the following pictures:
The pirate one is my favorite, mainly because of the bird :D I realize that this post probably doesn't make sense to a lot of people, but I think that DB will get a kick out of it (I emailed him the pictures).
In other news, my dog was not particularly fond of the snow that I left at my parent's house. However, he does look pretty dang adorable in his little sweater in the snow.
So since we have actually had time to talk, he's been telling me about his new "fun hobby". He's been talking to one of the guys in his shop who is a former day trader and he's spent a lot of his extra time learning about the stock market. It sounds to be a lot like betting at cards, but there's a better chance that you can actually make money if you know what you're doing. Now one of my nicknames for DB is Mr. Moneybags ;)
Also, DB is head of his shop and he tells me all about how he "rules with an iron fist" and that he may have people that yell at him, but at the end of his day he's "king of his castle". I disagreed and felt like he was probably more of a "captain of his pirate ship", but it was fun to joke about it. In celebration I drew him the following pictures:
The pirate one is my favorite, mainly because of the bird :D I realize that this post probably doesn't make sense to a lot of people, but I think that DB will get a kick out of it (I emailed him the pictures).
In other news, my dog was not particularly fond of the snow that I left at my parent's house. However, he does look pretty dang adorable in his little sweater in the snow.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Martini madness
Oy internet world, I'm back from an action-packed weekend! Friday evening I spent some quality time with my Aunt & Uncle across town and my 6 & 10 yr-old cousins. It was a blast to play with the kids, and we did some Wii games as well. I was introduced to the awesome game called Just Dance. Not only was it fun, it was a real workout. I did Eye of the Tiger with one of the cousins, and it was all punching and karate stuff - I felt like I was in a cardio class!
Saturday was extremely productive. I went to a Bridal Expo downtown with my sister (she's getting married in 6 months). We checked out most of the booths (there were a TON!), plus I was sure to stop at some of the cake booths for tastings :D Then later in the afternoon I met up with friends in a running club for a 2-mile run through downtown (I may tell more of this story in another post). Afterwards we had a great dinner at Old Chicago. Hanging out with friends really lifts my spirits. I feel so happy, sometimes I find myself looking around for DB in the midst of my friends - it really feels like he's here with me. It's a nice little moment of ignorant happiness.
Today was quite relaxing, with Church in the morning and lunch with the family. My Uncle across town bought a new iPOD and called me for help, so after lunch I went over there to try to be helpful. I'm pretty sure that just because I'm young, but it was still nice to feel like I could help out.
One of the weekend highlights was the abundance of martinis! My Dad is really into fancy drinks; I think of it like experimenting with cooking in the kitchen. The fun is in looking up recipes and trying to come up with tasty combinations. Our favorites so far: the Lemon Drop Martini, the Midori Martini and Cinnamon Amaretto Martini (well that last one isn't a martini but I had to somehow fit it in with the others). I feel like I'm living at a bar, lol.
Saturday was extremely productive. I went to a Bridal Expo downtown with my sister (she's getting married in 6 months). We checked out most of the booths (there were a TON!), plus I was sure to stop at some of the cake booths for tastings :D Then later in the afternoon I met up with friends in a running club for a 2-mile run through downtown (I may tell more of this story in another post). Afterwards we had a great dinner at Old Chicago. Hanging out with friends really lifts my spirits. I feel so happy, sometimes I find myself looking around for DB in the midst of my friends - it really feels like he's here with me. It's a nice little moment of ignorant happiness.
Today was quite relaxing, with Church in the morning and lunch with the family. My Uncle across town bought a new iPOD and called me for help, so after lunch I went over there to try to be helpful. I'm pretty sure that just because I'm young, but it was still nice to feel like I could help out.
One of the weekend highlights was the abundance of martinis! My Dad is really into fancy drinks; I think of it like experimenting with cooking in the kitchen. The fun is in looking up recipes and trying to come up with tasty combinations. Our favorites so far: the Lemon Drop Martini, the Midori Martini and Cinnamon Amaretto Martini (well that last one isn't a martini but I had to somehow fit it in with the others). I feel like I'm living at a bar, lol.
 |
| Lemon Drop |
 |
| Midori Martini |
 |
| Mango Martini |
 |
| Sync or Swim |
May there be many more merry martinis in my future!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)