Sunday, February 13, 2011

Valentine's day thoughts

A quote from one of my favorite military blogs:

"Those of you watching the commercials, chocolate everywhere, and feeling alone, please know you are loved. Completely. Tomorrow is about telling someone how you feel, but your love story does not stop or start tomorrow. Your love is felt all year. For those who get to finally squeeze, I know you will squeeze tightly. And cherish. Because we all wear the same shoes at some point. ~Melissa"

I've never had an exceptionally romantic Valentine's day, and this year will follow in the same vein with DB deployed.  Thank goodness for school.  Valentine's day will happen as normal tomorrow, but with exams next week and all sorts of other stuff going on in my life, I feel like I can handle Vday a bit better than if I was unoccupied.  At least I have school to keep me busy.  Plus DB isn't exceptionally romantic anyways.  Maybe next year we can do a fancy dinner and be all lovey-dovey :D

Monday, February 7, 2011

Restless dreams of a Gleek

I enjoyed watching the Superbowl commercials in between bits of the game, as well as eating various tasty football snacks, but the real treat came after the game: GLEE!!  I am a super Gleek (fan of Glee, for those that aren't familiar with the term).  Honestly, I could care less about the characters.  I sit through the talking portions so I can dance through the songs.  And most of the time I watch it the day after on, and I end up rewinding the songs so I can listen to them two or three times before I let the episode continue on.

Yes, the Gleekiness is unreal.  I have groups of friends that love the show, and those that hate it.  But I watch it because it makes me happy.  Lately what makes me happy is Daren Criss, who plays Blaine from a rival high school (pictured above).  He's all preppy and cute (I have some sort of weird uniform fetish) and they did Katy Perry's Teenage Dream awhile back!  I don't mind Katy Perry on the radio, but her songs are 10x better when Glee does it.  In case you haven't seen the song:
Sunday night they did a rendition of "Bills, bills, bills", which was good, but it didn't quite have the same feel as the Teenage Dream song.  Still enjoyed it though.  My other Glee favorites include Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat's "Lucky", Cee-Lo's" Forget You", "Imagine", Queen's "Somebody to Love" and of course the classic "Don't Stop Believin'", plus pretty much all the songs from the Lady Gaga episode and the Rocky Horror episode... I could go on all day, lol.

Anyways, my other story is that I have been sleeping like a thrashing monster.  I don't recall having any particularly violent or active dreams, but my bed has been a disaster every morning when I wake up.  I'm not really a still sleeper anyways, but this is out of control this week.  I found my pillow on the floor this morning and my blankets were all pulled out of the foot of the bed.  I'm just chalking it all up to stress.  After all, since last year with grad school I started grinding my teeth so I now have to wear a really sexy mouth guard at night.  Oh baby, oh baby.  I can tell when I hit stressful times of the year because I literally chew the crap out of them and have to replace them sooner.

Of course, this active/angry/marathon sleeping doesn't do much to actually rest my body.  I have a rough day at school, fall into bed exhausted, and then wake up feeling even more tired.  I'm starting to wonder if I need to get one of those goofy guardrails that you put on the edges of toddlers' beds so they don't fall out.  I've done my best to work out *relatively* regularly so that I can work some of the stress off, but there are so many hours in the day that I can sacrifice to non-studying activities, and things like food and sleep take priority.

Obviously sleep is not taking enough priority right now, since I'm up late blogging.  G'night folks.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Deaths in threes

My apologies for lack of posting.  It has been a hell of a week.  We had two snow days (Mon/Tues) which lead to Wednesday being a landslide at school and I feel as though my life has been turned upside down.

First, the major things: ever hear about how people die in 3s?  Well I've had 2 deaths in my life in the past three weeks and I've been having nightmares about someone else dying.  SPC Torre was killed in Iraq, and my future sister-in-law-of-sorts (Emily) unexpectedly died on Tues day night.

My sister is getting married this June to her wonderful man John, and Emily is John's sister. (So technically Emily is my sister's sister-in-law, but you get the picture).  The plan was to have five bridesmaids and four groomsmen at the wedding.  I am the maid of honor (as the bride is my only sister) and I was going to walk down the isle alongside Emily and Jeff (John's twin brother).  Tuesday night, Emily wasn't feeling well.  She had some pain in her calf, and she passed out at home.  The ambulance arrived quickly but they were unable to resuscitate her.  Autopsy later revealed multiple pulmonary emobli, likely from a deep vein thrombosis.  Emily was quite young, only 29, but I guess she was as risk as a smoker and being on birth control.  The family is absolutely heartbroken, as am I.  My sister got to spend a lot of time with Emily, and my parents got to meet her at John's college graduation, but I never got to meet her.  I feel absolutely awful about it even though I'm quite removed from the situation.

Emily's funeral is 4 hours away on Monday, and I can't miss school for it.  On top of that SPC Torre's memorial service was rescheduled due to the snow, and now I can't attend because I'll be taking my Radiology exam at that time.  All this on top of the usual stress at school has turned me into an unhappy person this week.  I just feel conflicted - I don't know how to handle this other than to pretend it's not there.

Meanwhile my friends continue on with their lives.  Triumphs and failures, stress and fun times.  I went out to dinner with friends and all I could think about was death - which made it really hard to have appropriate conversation.  (After all, who wants to go out to have fun and then end up talking about serious/sad things)  I expect this conflicted feeling will slowly ebb away over the next few weeks, but I've been sleeping poorly and deep down I'm afraid of someone else in my life dying.  Maybe it will be someone who is exceptionally close to me.  I know this is completely irrational and worrying about people dying around me will do no good, but I still have that small thought in the back of my head.

On a high note, I did get to talk to DB for 20 min this afternoon.  He's not sure if he'll watch the superbowl (it'll be airing in Iraq at 2am).  He's not big into football, but this is the only time during the deployment that the guys are allowed to have beer - 2 beers to be exact, so he might go just for that.  Regardless, I hope he has fun and isn't too overtired in the morning.

Check out that handsome man

Alas, I should get back to studying.